Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Sheffield United to re-sign Ched Evans

I know no one reading this will care but I just wanted to start this post by saying I have managed to keep 3 clean sheets in my last 4 games somehow, saving one penalty along the way. If anyone would like to pass my number onto Mourinho or Zidane please feel free to as I think I’m ready to knock De Gea or Navas out of their positions.
~ Side note: For anyone wishing to see a grainy pixelated video of me saving said penalty then please have a look at my last post TPK Team of the Year 16/17 ~

But anyway, enough about me, let's get back on to today’s post which is about my clubs most fiercest rivals who apparently will be re-signing their former striker, Ched Evans. This has caused a lot of controversy amongst football fans and I felt like chucking in my two shillings worth.

It's reported that a fee of £500,000 has been agreed for the Welshman. 

Now of course most fans will know why this is so controversial, for those who don’t I will explain. In 2012 the Welsh international was found guilty of raping a 19 year old woman in his home town of Rhyl and sentenced to 5 years in prison, after serving 2 and a half years of his sentence he was released and struggled to find a club that would accept him. Eventually after having his rape allegation ‘quashed’ he managed to sign a one year deal with Chesterfield.
~ I use the word quashed as if I actually know what the fuck it means… ~

Now after I decided to write this post I spent around about an hour watching videos on YouTube about the “facts” about the case, other people’s opinions on the night, as if they were fucking there...but then I thought ‘what am I doing?’ I write a football blog and I’m watching video’s about a court case I couldn’t give two shits about. So instead I’ve decided I’m gonna write about Ched Evans as a footballer and not as anything else. As everyone else should be!

The first thing I’m going to say about Ched Evans is arguably the most embarrassing thing I think I’ll ever write...he was (and still is) the best striker I’ve ever seen play live in front of me…
I am a Wednesday fan who hasn’t yet seen us play under Chansiri, so am yet to see the brilliance of Rhodes, Hooper, Fletcher and the 18 other strikers we have in our squad. But for now it saddens me to say that the best I’ve seen is Ched Evans.

Admittedly I’ve not seen many ‘top class’ strikers play live in front of me. Andreas Weimann was good when I saw him. Andy Johnson for Fulham was another. James Beattie for The Pigs as well wasn’t a bad player...but none of them really matched up to Ched Evans’ intelligent play. He’s a player with something between his ears - and let's be honest, his ears are so big there’s gotta be something between them. *pause for laughter*

I always remember him not being the fastest striker, nor being the strongest, but he got goals from any position, with either foot, simply by making intelligent movement in and around the box. He reminds me a bit like Harry Kane...obviously a League One version but you get my point. To be honest though one thing I always used to say was if he had one good season of Championship football then Premier League clubs would come is a shame really.

Moving swiftly on to try and salvage myself some credibility, I wanna talk about how Evans will do at Bramall Lane. His last stint with the Blades in League One saw him bag 29 goals in 36 league appearances which is a good record to have in any division I have to say. The obvious factor to Sheffield United signing him back is for his goalscoring contribution which they’ll definitely need if they’re going to rely on just Billy Sharp for goals.

I made a £10 bet with my brother (a Sheffield United fan) the other week that Billy Sharp would not get double figures in the League next season because that fat tub of shit is not up to that standard anymore. In 11 years of Championship football, that little gremlin has only managed to scored double figures in 3 seasons. And that was when he was in his prime, now he’s lost a yard of pace (and found two stone) he’ll struggle to find Championship goals.
~ That last paragraph may have been a little impartial. Sue me ~

It is a gamble on the Blades’ part as Evans’ last stint in the Championship saw him score only 9 goals in 34 games, but it was in a dreadful Sheffield United side that was relegated to league One...even if the Welshman had scored 50 that season, he’d have been lucky to keep that side up. In my opinion though it could come off. If Ched gets a good pre-season behind him and gets the games, he could do well.

For Chesterfield so far this campaign he has only managed a measly 5 goals in 25 games. Now you could think that’s a bad statistic but when you consider he was playing for a side battling relegation in League One with the second worst defence in the league you kind of have to think that the blame wasn’t solely his…

All-in-all I don’t think he’ll be a bad signing for The Pigs. It’s a gamble and a huge one at that when you consider they’ve offered £500,000 but if it pays off and Evans has that ‘one good season’ that I was talking about earlier then the Blades will be laughing. For me though they’ll need to make many improvements to their squad to get it ready for the Championship.

Like I said Evans isn’t the fastest or the strongest so if the Blades want goals they’ll need to sign some real creative quality to give the likes of Evans to score or Sharp to blaze over the bar with his fat fucking trotter. But then again if this owner of theirs who owns all the toilet paper in Saudi Arabia really is as loaded as he says he is then they shouldn’t really struggle to find this player…

...wait a minute! What am I saying? Erm...actually what Sheffield United need to do is sign Paddy Kenny back...but stick him up front. And build their team around Leigh Bromby. Also sack Chris Wilder and bring in Michael Brown as player manager. Knock down Bramall Lane and rebuild it as a replica of Hillsborough, change your colours to blue and white, change your name to Sheffield Wednesday Reserves...and other such brilliant suggestions.

I thought I'd chuck this picture in for good measure!

The last thing I’m gonna say is good luck to Ched Evans next season. I know it’s not great support to Wednesday for me to hope a rival player does well but after seeing what’s happened to him and what he’s missed out on because of it, it’d be nice to see him do well in the league he most likely should have been in for the last few years.

And to be honest it’s not like I’m saying I hope United get promoted again. I mean I’m not bothered whether Ched Evans scores 30 goals and Sheffield United get automatic promotion just as long as Wednesday finish as Champions and Atdhe Nuhiu scores 31...a man can dream…

~ Anyone who enjoyed this please follow me on Twitter @ThePenaltyKing1 or like me on Facebook at ~

Cheers for reading.

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